What do you do when you have a case of he says she says? I am dealing with this right now with my son and his teacher. While it is natural that I would come to my child’s defense like a lioness it is also important to get all of the facts first.
Last week I learned a valuable lesson check your sources before you type and hit send. Just a little blogging humor. In my effort to lighten the mood this is a very serious situation. While in an emotional state and my zeal to defend my son I went overboard in an email and hurt a very good teacher. The things that my son told me his teacher said to him were awful so awful that it caused me to react without thinking things through. I felt uneasy about the email and tossed and turned all night long. This was totally out of character for me. I acted in anger, now I truly understand the meaning of the scripture Ephesians 4:26 Be angry but sin not. I had sinned against this teacher by allowing my flesh to rule my emotions.
The next day I got a follow-up email from the teacher explaining that she did not say all those things to my son at least not the way he relayed them to me. So now is was a case of He Says She Says. Who should I believe? I was immediately thrown off guard what to do what to do? I prayed about the situation off and on all day at work asked for guidance and clarity on how to proceed. I decided to send a letter of apology to the teacher for the harshness of the email but not for defending my son.
Later on after talking more with my son I realized that she did not say those things exactly the way he relayed them to me but it was how he perceived them and the effect those words had on him. However by then the damage had been done. The words embarrassed, mortified and angry was an under statement of the emotions I was feeling. I was seething with my son how could he put me in that position and cause me to be embarrassed like that.
I had to regroup and made a conscious decision not to react without calming down, praying and thinking about my next step. Now sitting here days later I have complete clarity and understanding of the situation. First off my son did not put me in that position I put myself in it by allowing my emotions to overrule my common sense. Did I pray first yes? but in the end I still allowed my emotions to win.
I almost did the same thing to my son when I received the email from his teacher but instead I did the opposite I talked to my son and listened to his defense and encouraged him. His teacher on the other hand had no defense because I judged, convicted and hung her without hearing her defense. My son was hurt by her words and I guess in some twisted way I wanted to make her feel the way he did when I looked in his eyes that day he came home from school. I was wrong and I am not proud of that. The bible says do not let your good be spoken evil of Romans 14-16 and I did just that. I allowed my good intentions to defend my son to become something ugly.
Now I am on trial. I have been uneasy ever since I sent that email I have tossed and turned. I have been convicted I AM GUILTY according to Gods word. I am guilty of the very same thing I accused her of .
Romans 2 1-2 ERV
So do you think that you can judge those other people? You are wrong. You too are guilty of sin. You judge them, but you do the same things they do. So when you judge them, you are really condemning yourself. 2 God judges all who do such things, and we know his judgment is right.
There will be many days of him coming home hurt, confused and having misunderstandings. I realize now that I can’t just pounce on everyone. I have to be wise and seeks God’s counsel and actually listen to it. I just have to find a way to be there for him in the best light possible. I don’t want him to look back on my actions and feel ashamed or for my actions to have repercussions on him. I want him to be proud of me and say that my mom has my back no matter what and that I can be honest and open with her without any backlash.
I will never know what truly transpired between my son and his teacher only God knows and he will deal with each accordingly. However after many days of turmoil with this issue I am ready to totally release it. God has it now
Until next time…Live Love Laugh!