Paging Lady Allen

Rediscovering Me

Our True Identity is Who We Are Without Labels

How many of you take the time to stop and smell the roses instead of sprinting past them. That would be me the sprinter. I am constantly sprinting  past all the good things in life. It has gotten to the point that my theme in life has become drum roll please… I DON’T HAVE TIME! How many of you have adopted this same theme so much so that you don’t have time to enjoy the simple things in life? I have discovered that since I became a wife and mother I’ve lost myself. Lady Allen has slowly faded over time in the background,my roles in life have consumed me, wife, mom and employee. I guess you could say that I am going through an Identity Crisis.

Black Wonder Woman | Ready for a Movie with Black Wonder Woman? « MadameNoire | Black ...:

“My family thinks I’m Wonder Woman”

I really feel that Identity Crisis is a common thing among new wives and  new mothers because in our mission to be the best at both roles we become consumed in them. Thus the roles become our main focus. As we strive to please our husbands and kids we began to self sacrifice by giving so much of ourselves to them. I don’t think we really realize it at first because of the fulfillment it gives us in pleasing them. Until we look around one day and don’t see ourselves but only shells of who we use to be.

You see anything that you neglect over time will become unkempt. It’s like a rose you won’t notice it if you miss one or two days without watering it. However if you continue to neglect it over time it will wither up and die.

I am neither a new wife or new mother but in my attempt to excel at both roles I have forgotten to take care of me. The words I DON’T HAVE TIME! have slid off my lips more times than I can remember, when it came to things that I needed to do for me. Therefore allowing myself to become withered and unkempt. THIS STOPS NOW!

Behold I do a new thing and now it shall come forth! I will take time to smell the roses. So when my I get home tonight after putting my kids to bed I’m going to make a cup of tea sit in front of the fireplace and relax. Let’s vow to take at least 30 minute a day to stop and smell the roses. Smelling the roses for you could mean reading a book, taking a brisk walk, meditating. This has to be something you do just for you.So when my husband comes in and says Bae can you iron this shirt for me. My answer will be not right now, maybe later because I am smelling the roses. I promise you they won’t die if you make them wait, neither will the house fall apart. It’s okay to spin out of your Wonder Woman clothes and become Diana Prince or for me Lady Allen. The spin works both ways. You’ll just be a more happier you. My new theme for the rest of the year thru next year is drum roll please… All THINGS NEW ! In my quest to do ALL THINGS NEW! my first agenda item will be REDISCOVERING ME!  Mind Body and Soul. I may use it as a screensaver at work for a daily reminder to myself.

For the moms and wives out there who feel like you have began to wither away to a shell of your former selves join me in my quest to Rediscover Me. If you feel as if you are in Identity Crisis Mode,then reconnect and rediscover who you are, what makes you you apart from your roles in life. We are not defined by our roles in life but we are unique individuals with our own needs and desires.

Make a commitment to yourself to start enjoying life to the fullest. It is too short you don’t want to look around and realized you have wasted it. So my fellow readers I leave you with this. We should enjoy life as much as possible because we are only here but for a moment. The bible tells us to eat drink and be merry.

ECC 8:15 NIV

So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun.

Until next time… Live, Love, Laugh!

Lady Allen

Ten is Still Ten

The Wonder Years

Sometimes I feel as if my kids are speed walking through life on autopilot. It seems that they are missing out on key moments in each phase of development. Almost like advertising, when you walk into the store and see Christmas decorations, then two weeks later they’re already making room for New Year’s and Valentine’s Day decor. The same is so with our kids, before they can finish one stage of their life they are rushing to the next.

I say that to say this…Today marked a very important milestone in my son’s life. He turned 10 years old, so he is officially a pre-teen. Honestly I don’t know what scares me the most the fact that he is a pre-teen or that he just stepped into the pre-adolescent years. Boy was I not prepared for this! It just seems like yesterday when I was sitting in the hospital bed holding him up to my chest telling him that it was me and him against the world. So when I looked at him this morning and it dawned on me that he was growing up, I felt many emotions at one time. Where was I when this happened.

In today’s society it seems ten is the new twelve and twelve is the new fourteen. I say this because of the marketing strategies. According to society 10-12 are considered the tween years. However there is really no market for the 10-12 year old they kind of get shuffled in with the younger teen stuff. It’s almost as if creating this new age group caused our kids to lose part of their childhood. Something like this does not go over well with an old school mom like me

You see when I raised my daughters it was a different world then what we live in now. Kids were still kids at 10 years old. The new age group tweens did not exist. They still played with dolls, rode bikes, and played in the creek.  Most of all they still needed and wanted me around.

So I have come to the conclusion that the kids have not changed. Ten is still ten and they still need us now more than ever.

In some cases it’s the parents that have changed by succumbing to the pressures of society. See it is our job as parents to cover and protect our kids. We are to set the tone for what is right and acceptable. Lets preserve The Wonder Years for our kids as long as possible. So beware of those crafty designed labels and strategic marketing adds, orchestrated to push our kids into the next stage of life before they are ready.

I will not allow it. I think I owe it to my kids to allow them the same childhood that I had. Jumping rope, playing red light green light and catching fireflies after dark. These are the things that shape their character and gently prepare them for their next phase in life.

Until next time…Live, Love Laugh

Parents Are Special Too

Today I attended an awards ceremony for my kids. They received A,  A/B honor roll certificates, and one received the Christian Character Award.  I am very proud of them. All of their hard work has really paid off. However as they both walked up to the stage to be rewarded for their accomplishments I had a selfish moment. It’s not one that I am proud of but to be honest I think we all have them as a parent. While I am happy for them; I began to look around at all the parents sitting in the church sanctuary and thought where was our recognition.

I have no doubt that the road to this moment was filled with lots of compromises such as time, lack of sleep, pep talks and many frustrated nights just doing homework.  I am sure there were many tedious trips to Walmart to pick up just the right supplies for school projects and assignments..

I know some of your are probably thinking well that’s our job as a parent. “It comes with the territory”. You are also probably thinking that they are our recognition. You my friends are absolutely correct. However just because we are parents doesn’t mean that we do not like to feel appreciated. It does not mean that because it is our job that we would not like to receive a pat on the back or a good job mom, dad from time to time. Wouldn’t it be great to be rewarded for our time, patience, overfilled schedules and committed efforts that are put forth into helping them do their  best.

My fellow readers we are living in a world where so many teachers and kids alike have little to no support from parents.I am not saying that this is intentional because sometimes it cant be helped; as some are put into situations beyond their control. Nevertheless when you get the type of parents listed below

  • parents who are committed to the success of their children
  • parents who make sure that their children are fully prepared for the school day
  • parents who work with the school to make sure that their kids are contributing to a safe bully free environment
  • parents who teach their kids self respect, respect for their peers and respect for authority
  • parents who make sure that their kids are adhering to the rules

They are the parents that should be recognized for their good work. So to all my fellow readers out there that are holding it down as a parent and you’re on the job 24/7. I commend you on your good work!  Today is Parent Appreciation Day! on Chronicles of a Gen X Mom from me to you. I give you a

Parent Recognition Award

A-For effort

A- For Time

          A-For Persistence

        A-For Motivation

Enjoy your accomplishments!

Until next time…Live, Love, Laugh

Lady Allen

Big Mike

From the day my son was born his bright smile and vibrant personality has captivated the attention of his family, teachers and peers alike. So when an upperclassman at his K-12 school took him under his wing and gave him the name Big Mike I was not surprised. They would stop him in the halls on the way to class and high five him. It made him feel special. For the next 3 years my son was Big Mike. He loved it and thrived on his new found popularity.

That was until the Spring of 2016 when we made a family decision that would rock his world. We decided to change schools and were all in agreement to it. It was considered one of the best christian private schools in the city. Our boys were excited about the sports and new opportunities that would be available to them. Little did we know about the effect that it would have on him or how it would impact him socially.

So after a fun filled summer with his friends and lots of goodbyes to his teachers, we prepared for a new year at a new school. On the first day of school my son walks into his classroom expecting to make lots of friends and carry on his legacy as Big Mike. He was maybe even a little cocky and expected things to just fall into place. However this was not the case his bright smile and vibrant personality did not cut it. This was a tough crowd. Needless to say his reputation nor title transferred with him. Instead he was given another title The New Kid. The new kid that had no friends and was considered a little weird.

Have you ever heard of the show From the Bottom Up. This is where he had to start, he had to earn his title. There were lots of Big Mike’s (popular kids) there. At first he questioned himself and began to wonder what was wrong with him. My heart ached for him. I even began to question myself, did I make the right decision?  As I watched discouragement set in and the enemy try to depress my son, I began to pray. Oh the power of pray is all I can say. Prayer changes things and it’s working things are getting better. He still has good days and not so good days but I know God has his back. He’s the best friend that anyone can have.

“I told him instead of counting this as a loss, look at it as a new opportunity to reinvent yourself. You can be anything you want to be. Instead of walking in an image that was created for you create your own image and style. Yeah some will like it and some won’t. Who cares as long as you’re happy with who you are when you look in the mirror.”

In a perfect world it would be nice if other people could see us the way we see ourselves, through rose colored glasses. If that was the case then we would always be Superman, Wonder Woman, Iron Man or even Big Mike. We would never grow because we would always want to stay in our comfort zone. Unfortunately no matter how great we are or think we are the world shows no mercy. People draw their own conclusions and create their own images of who we are to them. These are the lessons I try to teach my sons. You are not who people say you are. Neither do you have to live up to their image of you, good or bad. Always allow room for growth and change. Never give anyone that much power. The titles we hold on earth are just temporary and are subject to change at any moment. When you allow people to validate who you are by giving you a title you also give them the power to strip it away at whim.

“So to my son Michael get out of your comfort zone, remove the rose colored glasses and take your power back. You may never be Big Mike again but you are still special. Draw close to God, find your true purpose in him and you will find your identity”

I am reminded that when God gave Jacob a purpose he changed his name.

“He said to him you will no longer be called Jacob but Israel.”

We can rejoice in knowing that when God changes your name no one can take it away.

God said to him, “Your name is Jacob, but you will no longer be called Jacob; your name will be Israel.” So he named him Israel. Genesis 35:10 NIV

Until next time…Live, Love, Laugh

Lady Allen

Uniquely Me

My name is Lady Allen, I am very outgoing but can be an introvert at times. I am married almost 9 years and together we have 6 kids a very blended family. Their ages ranges from the youngest 7 years old and the oldest being 29. Only two of them are still at home the 7 and 10-year-old. Now add to that a grandmother of 6, all girls. Talk about a lot going on right. My life is filled with adventure and there is NEVER a dull moment. Some days all I can do is hold on and go along for the ride.

My Picture Perfect. I guess so many of you are wondering why I chose this blog title. Well it’s not because my life is perfect, especially according to the world’s standards. It’s because my life is just the way God wants it to be and when he is done with me it will be picture perfect.Sometimes we try to paint a picture of what we want our lives to be like but God has other plans. Give him the paint brush and let him take control. I had to learn this the hard way.

Life has thrown me many curve balls, being a mom again at 36 and a wife at 38 was a big one. God has a sense of humor huh, but I wasn’t laughing. Not the picture I had in my head as a child. In my dreams I would be married at 25 enjoying life and have the perfect family 2 girls 2 boys and a dog. Yes I wanted the fan family the one you see on the fans they used to hand out in church. I prayed for that even went so far as to write it down and all the qualifications that I wanted in my husband. I wish I could say that things happened in that order but it didn’t. I got what I wanted just not when and how I wanted it. God is faithful.  It took many roads, U-Turns, dead ends and back alleys to get it.  He delivers! I birthed 2 girls, 2 boys and have a husband 2 bonus kids and a dog “My Fan Family”. The husband list God edited it and tailor-made him just for me. So that’s what makes me Uniquely Me a second time mother, wife and grandmother in the Summer/Fall of my life.

Until next time… Live, Love, Laugh!

Lady Allen

The Proverbs 31 Woman in Fast Mode

Proverbs 31:10, King James Version (KJV)
10” Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies”.

Being a mom the second time around has it advantages and disadvantages. Second time moms have the advantages of being a more seasoned parent, that voice of reason in a chaotic world. Yet have the disadvantages of being a modern day mom. The Modern Day Mom Era is how I like to refer to it. The Proverbs 31 Woman in fast mode.The know all, be all and do all mentality. I remember reading that passage when I first became a christian and thinking no woman can be all of those things. Unless she has Super Powers.Thank God for wisdom. We as moms are pulled into so many directions on a daily basis that it can be overwhelming. The pressure to be the head of the PTA or make the best costume, bake the best bake sale items or the best science project for the science fair. As if that is not enough, and to help bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. The cares of this world can extinguish the light that God has put inside of us.. Therefore blinding us to our true purpose in life. I am not saying that these things are not important but let’s not allow them to choke the life out of us.

We are so much more than that. We are unique individuals with our own hopes and dreams, that rare precious jewel, that good thing a man acquires when he finds us. So slow down and smell the roses, Enjoy that cup of tea as you sit by the fire. Stop neglecting yourselves, treat yourselves you deserve it.

Women are charged with such a great responsibility in life. We are prayer warriors, homemakers, wives and employees. We set the spiritual balance for the household and are what helps make a house a home.

Most of all we are Women of God, created for his purpose to worship him. So let us not forget to make time for him in all our planning. Pencil God in your Mom Journal, he should be your first appointment in the morning.

Women of God, Wives, and Mothers I leave you with this.  Let us walk in the Grace, Wisdom, Power and Femininity that is within us. For these are our Super Powers.

Until next time… Live, Love, Laugh!

Lady Allen